Our good inhabitant domestic conventions are finally over and now a news media contingency get behind to articulate to themselves though giveaway food and splash during a CNN Grill.
What have we learned? First, a GOP transient Tampa though Chris Christie eating Delaware. Had he finished so, Clint Eastwood’s YouTube hits would have purebred good underneath 500 billion. But possibly approach no one other than Mitt Romney’s private commander knew he was indeed there.
The Democrats met in something called Charlotte, that is indeed Atlanta for clueless Priceline shoppers. There we listened a initial lady and Bill Clinton. Beyond that, we don’t remember. Except for when Joe Biden detonate on theatre shirtless in bandit clothe swallowing torches of fire.
Oh though wait, approbation a President did uncover adult to re-enact a murdering of bin Laden with a Power Point display of heavily edited Road Runner cartoons. Then Joe Biden busted a impulse by crashing a theatre in a selected Pontiac and contaminated tank top, spitting tobacco gnaw on a Romney-Ryan poster.
Taxpayers voiced pleasure that their $136 million in total contributions to these conventions were so good spent. Except for a Democrats denying us balloons on their shutting night. Apparently balloons in North Carolina, like hotel bedrooms and zoo animals, are non-union. So a income was instead funneled to confetti factories reportedly tranquil by Cleveland mobsters with ties to Solyndra.
Still, a conventions served their purpose: Waiting for pollsters to tell us if there was a “bounce,” that roughly never happens unless we trap a possibilities in zero-gravity breeze tunnels. Even afterwards a experts are expected to say, “Look, there goes a squirrel.”
And before we know it, a debates are on us, we forget a conventions ever happened and after that we forget a debates ever happened. Thankfully then, Election Day is shortly over and we can pierce on to a nation’s some-more critical business of speculating about 2016 possibilities and engagement gathering hotel bedrooms with a fewest reported sightings of bed bugs.
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